Shallow America: Why It’s Getting Harder To Recognize Real Women

It’s no secret that the world we live in, is very shallow. Everything is about looks with some people. Looks  are at the top of their list when it comes to looking for love. It’s no secret that a lot of people are paying plastic surgeons, to enhance their body in some way. Society and reality tv, well the entertainment industry is obsessed with the perfect body, when it comes to women.

It’s getting really hard to recognize the real from the fake.

Before I continue, this is not some cry for help or some pity story…..

For as long as I could remember, people have said things about my body and my looks and frankly, I’m fucking tired of it. It has not always been in a positive light. If only people knew the great lengths I’ve gone through to disguise my body, to deflect the negative attention. I had the lowest self-esteem for years, pretty much into my 20s. I didn’t even know it was that bad, until people called me out on it.

I just wanted people to see me, my mind and not talk about my shell. Men would refuse to get to know me, so therefore I never really dated. I got tired of my “looks” or what they consider to be “attractive” being the topic of every conversation. It made me feel like I was just someone who, they just wanted to fuck and then leave. It’s like they refuse to see a real person.

Women too, have looked at me with envy and I don’t know why. One of my childhood friends, refused to go out with me because of the “attention” she claimed I got. We had an argument one day and she started talking about my ass and hips. One guy I was talking to for a few weeks, tried to keep me inside the house and got extremely territorial on me, he wanted me to dress like a nun.

When it comes to my face, some woman is always asking me, what shade of lip gloss I’m wearing, did I get my lips stained, or what eyeshadow I’m wearing and I don’t even wear that shit. I happen to be a woman of color, I don’t need to morph myself into a circus clown. Being that make-up is a big part of a woman’s regimen every day, women just think all women wear make up all the time and that’s just not true.

With the media always talking about women’s bodies, and who got the latest butt enhancement or breast augmentation, it makes it seem like when a real woman has curves and she’s in her natural state, it’s hard for other people, well women to believe that she did not pay for it. They murmur under their breath, “yeah she got work done”. Why do women body shame each other?

I remember when I logged onto Facebook one day and in the new feed, was breaking news that K. Michelle was removing her butt injections or implants. I said to myself why is this breaking news? Who gives a shit?!! The magazine reporting this, was supposed to be a music magazine, but it was talking about K. Michelle’s assets. SMDH!

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good and be at your best, but at what cost? I can understand reconstructive surgery, especially with some women after they have a baby, they just need some extra skin removed. They want to feel sexy again and get their confidence back. I can understand if a person really needs it, if they have been in an accident but changing your whole body. That’s ridiculous.!

We all want to feel beautiful but it really starts from the inside out. 

Why are we so obsessed with having the perfect body? Or being beautiful all the time. I saw a video clip with Kim Fields when she was on Atlanta housewives and she wanted the women to take off their make up,  And she called them out on it. I mean it’s the fake hair, the fake eyelashes, fake nails, a face full of make up, fake body parts, the high heels, expensive clothes and jewelry and its like damn, everyday?!!

You can’t dress down and be simple and plain. But then these women who are so fake, are looking for a real man. Why don’t you try being a real woman. People are getting poisoned and dying over wanting to look good and delay aging. It’s very, very sad! What are we teaching our young women about how they look? What are we teaching our young men, about how to value a woman?

Shouldn’t we be focused on our health. Our self-esteem? loving one another. Complementing someone’s life, bringing out the best in them. Worried about making our own money and being a better person. There’s so much going on in the world, people dying from disease, unemployment, homelessness. People not eating, losing their homes but yet we are worrying about, how can my butt look bigger, how can I enhance my lips and breast. We just want to nip and tuck everything.

We want to be attractive to the opposite sex, why are some of us so shallow?

These are some very sad times we are living in. Some people really need to be psycho evaluated to make sure their mind is right. No matter what one does in the physical world, we will all transcend one day. It’s not going to matter on the side. We really need to be happy with the way God made us.

Are Women In Love With The Idea Of Marriage or Do They Really Just Want a Wedding?

article-2160909-13a92832000005dc-603_634x548I came across an article with a woman talking about, she ended her relationship with her man after six months of dating….. because he didn’t want to give her the wedding of her dreams. It didn’t matter that she had a good man, she wanted a wedding. She put major pressure on him after only six months. Yeah only six months…wow!

It’s no secret men feel pressured to pop the question all the time by SOME women. We all know that weddings are for women, they just are…look at the shows that are geared towards women… “Bridezillas, Say Yes To The Dress, My Four Weddings, I found The Gown”.

It’s no secret that a lot of women have a fantasy, about what their wedding day will be like. You hear some women say all the time, “I have been dreaming about this day ever since I was a little girl”. When you are a little girl, you have no idea what marriage entails. Your mind can’t conceive of it. But women are not thinking about marriage, they are thinking about the big gala. It’s been engrained in their heads and you can blame Disney for that.

Weddings to me, are some big lavish day, where a woman wants to be a princess and be envied by everyone. It’s proves to woman a woman, that someone chose me, out of all the other women on the planet. “I got the ring, I got the man”. There’s this thing going on, on Pinterest, where women are planning their wedding day without a groom. They have a future wedding board without a man. How do you plan a wedding without even having someone special in your life? Wedding planning is a big business and it’s all aimed at women. Corporations play on women’s mind, that they have to have these things. The most expensive food, flowers, dress, venue etc.

Some women are clearly in love with the idea of marriage, and most of all they want a wedding, they just do. They plan for months even years. They’ll go broke over that one day. Weddings are like an orgasm, they don’t last long, lol. It’s a high at the moment but then it’s over…ok maybe that wasn’t a great analogy but it sounded funny in my head. Anyway… I remember looking at “bridezillas” a few years ago when it came out and this one lady, the way she was acting, I felt so sorry for her husband to be. He looked liked he wanted to back out but couldn’t. He realized right then and there, that this woman was going to cost him.

I personally think weddings are a waste of money, they just are. To spend thousands of dollars on one day, is just crazy to me. I don’t know if I will ever get married, but IF I did, I will not be having a wedding. I’m to frugal to have a wedding, LOL. If I could get ordained and marry me and my husband, I probably would, lol…. I’m the type to get married at the courthouse or in my own backyard, decorate it myself and make the food myself, LOL….. with just a few special loved ones around as witnesses. The reception will be in my living room and I’ll probably be the DJ too! Don’t laugh, lol…ok…..go ahead but I’m serious though :).

I still can’t get over my friend spending $300 on dinner, lol… oh back to what I was saying….Money spent on a wedding could go on a down payment on a house, or my dream kitchen. If a couple plans on having a child or two, that money can be used on them because kids are expensive. That money will definitely come in handy once, two people start their lives together. If you plan on sending your child to college, you can buy a savings bond or put that money away in a college fund.

I just think weddings are pointless, they just are. You don’t have to agree with me. But we all know it’s true that some women, want a man just to get engaged and to start planning their wedding. After 3 dates, they are asking where is this going? They are ready to change their relationship status on Facebook. I know these types of people…it’s all about what they want. A wedding shower, a baby shower, free gifts. Women want an expensive engagement ring. A friend of mine told me he spent 4k on an engagement ring, I said to him, they didn’t have anything less expensive or cubic zirconia, LOL.

He busted out laughing at me. I was so serious. 4k on an engagement ring?? That’s to much money…I’m not a jewelry person, so that would be a waste of money for me. It’s not about the cost of the ring, it’s about the love that you share with someone. I remember when I dumped my ex and he bought me an engagement ring. I told him to get his money back. I don’t know why he did such a stupid thing. I was not getting married at 24 any way.  I’m not one of those women where you flash a piece of jewelry, in my face and that’s suppose to solve everything. Men have been trying to marry me for years, especially when they hear I love to cook, lol…

I’ve seen this gesture on TV to many times, a man fucks up, then buys a ring and the woman forgets, what he did and she is happy they are engaged and now she can start planning her wedding. Some women associate the cost of something with the love. It’s like they are marrying the engagement ring, dress, and wedding of their dreams and not the man of their dreams. After the wedding and the honeymoon is over, and real life sets in that’s the part that they do not want to deal with. Then they start to realize that this is no disney movie. The fantasy quickly fades. One thing you will never hear men talking about is a wedding. You never hear men talking about, I’ve been waiting for my wedding all my life, it’s always women.

Now there is nothing wrong if you desire to get married, but you must be clear on why you want to get married. It’s shouldn’t be about some lavish day with just anybody.

Someone I know said to me “I was almost 27 and I was starting to wonder, who was going to marry me and when I was going to have a baby and I had to marry the first jerk who asked me”  I asked her did she love him and she said “No, I don’t think I’ll ever love anybody but I can try”. And this is a few months after knowing him. 3 kids later, still with the same man and she still does not love him. But she is determined to make the marriage work, to have what she didn’t have growing up, to give her kids a two parent household. But there is no love. Children can sense this. I couldn’t marry someone after a few months or because I got pregnant.

Her husband has no dreams or goals, he’s perfectly fine with working his minimum wage job. She wants a house, he’s not even thinking about buying a house. So this person is holding her back. Scenarios like this should not be happening, just to say “I got the ring, he chose me”. Women keep thinking that a ring defines them and it doesn’t. Marriage is a commitment and it’s about building your life with someone. Marriage is not a big party or some fantasy. A wedding doesn’t defined who you are or how the rest of the marriage will be. It takes works. All couples should get premarital counseling.

Get married because you are actually in love, and you believe in the covenant of marriage, not because you want a big party and then you say “it’s my day, it’s only one day, that only comes around once in a life time”. With the way divorce rates are going, I’m pretty sure, this day will come around again. You’re right it is “your” day. Because I guarantee you, men are not thinking about weddings. They’ll do away with it if they could, just like holidays. A man is just waiting at the end of the isle, for their bride to come down.

NEWS FLASH!!! “Celebrities” Are Human Beings Too

Ok, so the title of this blog was suppose to be funny and sarcastic, at least I found it to be 🙂 LOL

We live in a world, where we think that people on TV are super human beings, just because we watch them. People on TV or if you choose to call them “celebrities” are human beings too. Which some of us forget. They go through the same thing, that people that are not on TV go through. They are not any more special than you and I, just because they have money or they are on television.

People in the public eye, just choose to share their talent in a public way on a broader scale, but never the less, they are human beings too. It’s ok to love your favorite artist and to love what they do and learn form them and draw some inspiration. But they are not perfect and should not be worshipped. I’ve met some artist that try to use who they are to their advantage, and think they should get special treatment. I had to give them a slice of humble pie and check them.

You have a lot of people that just want to be attached to a celebrity, just to say they know them or met them. I’ve met a few of my favorite actors, and I was very careful in my approach to them, especially when I asked to take a picture. Some artist don’t like to take pictures and fans need to respect that. Look how Prince was so adamant about picture taking and his personal life.

Once you take a picture with someone, in this age of social media and the internet, nothing is safe. You take a picture with someone and next thing you know, you are linked to them. You’re sleeping with them, based off an innocent photo. It’s always out there. Artist that want a private personal life, their significant other can’t take them being in pictures, with other people all the time because they are not secure.

I learned a lesson, when I told one of my friends I met one of our favorite soap stars. I had no idea she would post it on social media. As soon as I saw it I asked her to take it down., She shared it with a whole bunch of strangers. What did posting that photo do for her? She wanted to say that she knew someone who met someone famous, thats what it did for her. I don’t care about likes and comments. It’s not like she was in it. It was me.

The few actors that I have met people always want to know, why I never posted their photos on social media or why I have never shown them the photos. Well, there are several reasons…not that I owe anyone a reason but for….

1. That was my moment. 2. I don’t feel the need to show the world, especially social media, me in a picture with someone on TV. What is that going to do? 3. I value my privacy and the privacy of the artist, yeah I’m pretty sure, they take pictures with a lot of people, but it’s a personal thing with me 4. because I simply did not want to share. 5. I’m not start struck.

I enjoy artist for their art and I’m grateful that they chose to share their gifts and talents with the world, but at the end of the day, it’s just entertainment and artist are still human beings.

 

 

Artist Deserve Privacy

We live in a world that if you are an artist or entertainer of some sort, that privacy is the one thing that artist, feel they have to fight to protect. Now with social media, it seems like it’s getting even more harder for artist to preserve their personal lives.

I logged on to facebook and in the timeline, there was news about this actors bankruptcy, by this magazine that I used to support years ago. This magazine used to be about music, now it seems like its all about drama and gossip, in digital and in print. The magazine wanted to know what people thought about this.

Being that I’m opinionated, I commented and said, “why is this even news? Why do we need to know about this? Actors are human beings too, they go through the same thing, regular people go through”. Shit happens! People fall on hard times. Life happens to everybody”. I felt this news was very disrespectful because this is these peoples personal lives and their finances, are put on display for society to have an opinion. Why do we need to know that they are going through hard times for??

Information like this is none of our business. Just so we can judge and make fun of them. We have no clue what really happened, but yet everyone has an opinion and wants to make fun and throw shade. This is a great actor. What a lot of people don’t know is, that bankruptcy can be used to protect you. But as soon as people hear it, they automatically think they are broke.

Viewers have this twisted misconception that just because someone is on TV that they have it made. That they are rolling in money. The media will even go as far, as to let the whole world know that said actor, gets paid x amount of money. Which makes them a target. I remember when someone saw me on tv and thought I was rich. This is another reason why I opted out of the spotlight.

Artist deserve privacy. Just because they share their gifts and talents with us, doesn’t mean that we have a right to know what goes on, in their personal lives and invade their privacy. Whatever happen to it just being about the art? Just because I buy a ticket to see an artist in a movie, or their album, doesn’t mean I deserve a free pass to their personal life.

The line has to be drawn somewhere. Now with social media, fans have access to find out anything they want. I was talking about this artist music and this person responded to me and said, “I want to know what the daughter of his mother looks like?” Why?? Why are you concerned with that? So based off of how she looks, thats going to determine whether or not, you buy this artist album?? She never responded. “Fans” are focused on the wrong thing when it comes to entertainment and respecting an artist.

Stupid shit like this and greedy record labels is the reason why artist can’t make a living off of their music anymore. There’s no loyalty with some fans anymore. Some fans could care less about the art. They want to know who you are dating and how much money you have and what you are wearing. I came across another post that said, do you find an artist sexy while they are single or taken? Do you still fantasize about them. Do they become less attractive?

I personally don’t care if an artist is single or taken. If I’m attracted to them, then I’m attracted to them and their art. If they have sex appeal, I’m still going to have a fantasy, if thats what my mind wants. Artist deserve to have love in their life, they can’t stay single because of their fans. But when some fans hear that their favorite artist, has a significant other, got hitched or had a baby, they immediately stop supporting them and throw shade. They become mad, as if they had a chance in the first place.

What some of us need to do is stop worshiping these “celebrities” as if they are perfect. Celebrities don’t have special blood. They are human beings. They have to leave this earth too one day. They don’t lay golden eggs. When it comes to privacy, some artist will even put their own personal lives on display, just to attract more attention. They feel like, if it will get the people interested in them, then why not. Then when people have an opinion they want to get upset.

It’s like if there is no drama aded to your life and career then you are not relevant or important. I just wish and long for the days, where it was all about the art. Where it was all about the talent. Do we even care about music anymore? Do we even care about creation and the craft? “Whats going on??” Media really needs to stay out the lives of artist, its just not fair nor is it right. Every creative, wether in the spotlight or not deserves the right to privacy.

 

Selfless And Genuine People are Hard To Come By

We live in a world, where its hard to find genuine selfless people. A lot of people say things, but their actions don’t follow. Some people may have good intentions when they say something but to follow through, takes to much of their time. It’s nice when others recognize your selfless love acts. When you care about others, whether you know them or not, should not be overlooked. A lot of people take for granted, when they have a loving kind person in their life who cares and shows that they care. They think that this type of love will always be around.

When you give of your love, time and self. Its a godly sacrifice, not so much so, to please others, but to please god. There are so many ways to show that you love and care about someone. Sometimes people are taken aback by words or kind gestures that are extended to them from strangers. These people have been hurt and taken for granted in the past, that they just have their guard up with everyone. Love has worked against them, instead of for them…. Its hard to know who you can really trust. When you let someone get close to you, regardless of the length of time, they do have the power to hurt you, but your intuition will guide you and let you know, if this person is genuine or not. You just have to be yourself, a persons true intentions, whether good or bad, will be revealed in time.

A childhood friend of mine, called me out, with love, on my selfless ways….when I do something for someone or say something, I do it because its a reflection of myself and love. A person can give away as much love as they want to…. I treat people the way I want to be treated. The things that I was told is no surprise to me, because I know me :)… it was just nice to hear it…because I don’t do or say anything to impress people.. I was told that I am fiercely loyal, thoughtful and trustworthy and that no matter how many years have gone by, I always keep in touch.. I’m cancer what can I say, lol… Its hard to find people like that in life. If you come across them, keep them, don’t do anything to ruin that relationship.

My friend pointed out to me, that no matter what I’m doing or what I’m going through, I’m always there with my undivded attention and listening ear and advice. And I was just thanked for helping in anyway. I just feel like if your a good friend, like really a good friend and you don’t abuse that title, you can asses when someone needs something or if they need you. Sometimes its not always easy for someone to come out and ask for something or to let others know they are hurting. If you pay attention and listen with your heart… you will be able to tell, when someone needs something and bless them with your act of love.

People just want to know if you care. if you know people that go out of their way to show and tell you how much they care, if they haven’t heard from you, don’t neglect that, because what you deflect, someone else will be there to receive, what you don’t want or feel you deserve…I realize that a lot of people have a hard time recognizing genuine , selfless people, because you have a lot of opportunist and selfish people in the world. Their main objective is to see what they can get.

On some level, we all have our guard up at some point. As much as we hate to admit it, everyone that comes into our life, is going to have to pay for what someone else did or didn’t do….someone is going to put you through months, maybe even years to prove to them, that you are who you say you are…Time with a person can be elusive,…. you can know someone for years and they can change on you and their intentions can be malicious. Then you can meet someone and know them for a few hours or days and they can just be an angel passing by and change your life forever…..People tend to hold love, time, trust and their heart captive out of fear…..Even from the people they want to get to know and want to eventually love.

A closed heart can never receive love from a selfless act of love. It will be blocked and questioned from all angles. Isn’t it funny that when you say and do something from your heart people question it…..instead of just saying thank you….they are quick to question and delve deeper and wonder, why is this person being so nice?? but if you act mean, thats acceptable???!! WTF!!!……Men have flat out said to me, “yeah you seem nice and your beautiful and have a nice personality…., but I don’t know if I can trust you”?!!!! When I hear that, I don’t know it I can trust you…Red flag- trust issues and inconsistency….you want to trust a woman, but you don’t want to give and be open to have them trust you… why is this one sided??? some stuff, you just shouldn’t say out loud.

People like that, are hard to get through, and it doesn’t matter how much, love you show them, they will always be on the defense. At some point this will become exhausting….. it’s draining when you give to much love and do not receive….there needs to be a balance…You really have to have an open heart and mind, when it comes to love and people doing things for you. Consistency is tested on their behalf, but not given. Some people need so much love, that they are expecting you to fill them up with it, they are love deprived but it is not being reciprocated… at some point you will have to slow down and love them, from afar and eventually stop.

When that person is ready to receive your love, only time will tell if it will be available..sometimes love is only available for a limited time only…its like a special you have to hurry up and catch.

Don’t Hide Who You Are, For Fear It Might Be Used Against You

When meeting new people or going into any new circumstance, sometimes we have a tendency to hold back who we are, for fear that it might be used against us.

If there is something that you are passionate about, by all means, talk about it. Do it! Just because you love something, doesn’t mean, that the person (s) you meet, you have to do it for them.

When you know who you are, you need to connect with like minds and be surrounded by people who make your passions come to life, that inspire you.

Anybody who personally knows me, knows that I love to cook. I’m always in the kitchen. I can’t help it, its how I was raised.

When I used to talk about my love for food and cooking, I noticed it was attracting the wrong kind of attention from men. These men (even if they were taken), were trying to get a meal out of me and even sex.

So I stopped talking about my passion for food and cooking, but then I said to myself, F**k those men, LOL… I’m not going to stop talking about it. Just because I love to cook, doesn’t mean I have to cook for these guys. I don’t even know them like that, a first date is not at my house.

The older I get the less I give a rats ass, about what other people want from me. I can see if I developed a friendship with someone and I invite you over and I cook. But you are not going to invite yourself over to my house, and think just because I’m nice, that you can get what you want. But anyway…

I love to cook because I just love it andI enjoy it! The kitchen is the heart of the home.

I used to be so amazed, when my mom was alive, how my mom would make meals taste so good and even when we were low on food, how she just make a meal out of nothing.

Personally, I think my mom had magical powers, lol. But don’t all moms do in their own special loving way. All that love they put into those meals. You just can’t get that at a restaurant.

I’m the same way, I just create meals and people are always asking me where did I get the recipe from. My answer is in my imagination, with some divine inspiration.

Home cooked meals are the best! It’s the reason why some of us crave, those home cooked meals, during the holidays.

Cooking is an art, just like music.

Speaking of music, thats another one of my passions that was trying to be used against me. This has been happening ever since I was toddler. My passion for music has attracted the wrong attention.

Sometimes when you love something, people will find a way to twist what you love against you. It’s the most confusing thing that has ever happened to me. We all love music right, so why the negativity?

I have gotten into several small quarrels, with men about my passion for music. They felt I was more into the music more than them. They were literally jealous of my love for music, I think it was the way the men singing made me feel.. hmmm can we say insecure.

But that change when someone I befriended, actually like my passion for music and we used to talked about music a lot. He’s an artist so he got it!

This is why you need to surround yourself around passionate people, who allow you to be yourself and don’t try to sensor you in anyway.

If you love something, let it light up your soul, let people see that sparkle in your eye. Don’t ever hide who you are, for fear of it being used against you.

If people are hating on your zest and passion for life and the things you love, they need to look deep within themselves and find their own. Your love for something shouldn’t make others uncomfortable.

What is the point of living if you can’t be passionate!

 

A Little Less Control, Less Planning And More Faith In 2016

As 2016 approaches.. I have a little advice for you. As humans, we want everything to go our way, in all areas of our life. We like to be in control. We feel if we are not in control, then things will not go our way and that we are failures. We are control freaks! Even if we won’t admit it.

We forget to live in the moment and enjoy the journey.

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having goals, dreams and creating the life that you want. But let me let you in on a little secret….Ready?!!

Everything is not up to you…I know that’s a hard pill to swallow….Sorry to burst your bubble… but it’s not! I say this with love 🙂

You don’t get to have control, over every area of your life. God does! As much as we try to control, every area of our lives, sometimes it backfires. When we don’t get what we want, in our own timing, we get upset, we start to blame ourselves and even God.

Thinking that he hasn’t heard our prayers, that he forgot about us or that we are being punished. We’re not! It’s all in our heads.

That guy/girl you like, that never called you, trust me it was for a reason. That job you wanted that you felt so qualified for, but never got. It simply was not meant for you. What God has for you, is perfectly designed for you and only you. Just believe!

A NO from God is not a rejection, that God doesn’t love you. It simply means I have something better for you and to trust me… Like really trust me. And its simply a NOT YET.

I don’t know about you, but when things haven’t worked in my favor, I’m grateful and I say thank you, many times over. Because I’ve dodged so many bullets it’s not even funny.

Just the mere thought of it, I’m thanking God again as I write, lol :). When I felt something was off, it was and that was God talking me and I listened.  I’m not going to get into what happened, when I didn’t listen, lol. We all do that. We’re human!

I’m here to tell you to relax!!..Yes me :).. We are all teachers in our own spiritual way. We are all here to learn and share lessons with one another.

Whatever it is that you are working towards, just work towards it and if it’s what your heart truly desires. God will deliver it. It will be yours. Regardless of what it is. If you change your mind in the process  and decide you want something different, that’s ok too.

Sometimes we feel like when we give up on something (or someone) and walk away. We think that is a sign of failure. It’s not! There is strength and courage knowing when to let go. It’s simply not for you and you can let go.

You can be creative, you can change your mind and grow, you can evolve.

It’s all about surrendering. There is beauty in surrendering. It’s a sign of love and that you know you need help. Some spiritual assistance.

A weight is lifted off your shoulder. Your heart seems lighter. Ever notice when you have tension and you get anxiety?. Thats a sign that you are trying to control everything and your brain is in overload and you really need to power down.

God knows your heart! Believe that!

God wants us to have what we want, He wants us to have the life we want. The relationship we want. The job we want. The house we want. That book we’ve been meaning to write. That invention we’ve been dreaming about. It’s ok to dream and to dream BIG! But we have to work towards it, be patient and wait on his timing and we have to have faith. No matter how long we think it might take.

We need to stop worrying about, time age and when its going to get delivered to us. That’s not our job. That’s not going to get us anywhere. I can count on both my hands and feet (and I may need a few of yours lol) of how many people I know, that rushed their life, simply by their age, time and fear, when it came to having a baby or two and getting married.

Now they are rueful. Important life decisions like that needs to be planned and they will happen in Gods timing. You can’t just have a child on purpose, by the first man who says “have my baby and marry me”. But you live and you learn.

What is this rush for? Why do we feel the need to get ahead of ourselves?? I started to come down on myself, and I stopped… because I was in the process of wanting to make a move and it didn’t happen, when I wanted it to and there were some other important factors, standing in my way that needed my attention.

As much I wanted to pack up and sell all my things and move over five thousand miles to the west coast. And just be on the beach.. It’s simply not the right time, it doesn’t mean thats it’s not going to happen. It can happen at any time. But I can’t be hasty no matter how much I want it.

Hasty moves are like a quick rush of adrenaline, they only last for a moment and then you come down off your high. Certain things that you do want have to be plan, especially when you are relocating.

I know that I have to wait on God, to tell me when to move and for the right opportunity. What I’ve been working towards, that has taken years, never the right timing, obstacles in my way at every corner, can happen at any moment when God says, ok now GO!

A very important lesson that I learned from my mom before she transcended, was that it is never to late. Regardless of what you want.

All of this trying to control an outcome, all that is going to do is drive you crazy. You’re insecurities will come up, if something doesn’t happen at a certain time when you want it.

You’ll see the rejection as failure as if you didn’t try hard enough. I’m not going to do that myself in 2016 and beyond. And neither should you. Allow yourself to get excited about what you want, even if you don’t have it at the moment.

Send that signal out to God, to the universe. Just think about how good it will feel when you finally do get what you want? The love you want. The perfect career?! That house or condo that you’ve been dreaming about buying. Your ideas coming to fruition. Revel in the thought of it!!!

I used to look at my dream home all the time and I finally decided to go see the model and fell in love with it. After all those years of looking at it, I was finally able to go visit. It felt like home when I walked in.

I have never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life. The first place I went to was the kitchen. Took me a minute to get out of there, lol. I could see myself preparing meals for loved ones. It brought a smile to my face. I allowed myself to just dream and be in the moment. No doubts or insecurities or the price of it.

The pictures and videos online simply did not do it any justice! I was in that model for over an hour. I just couldn’t bring myself to leave. As I was there, I just prayed and asked God for what I wanted. As I was walking around, the realtor came out and started asking me questions and I asked her about additional add-ons since I built my floor plan online.

Some other people entered the model, at the time when she told me the price. I noticed they walked out. I told the realtor please do not tell me how much this house cost, I know how much it cost. In the past I let the price of something, stop me from having what I wanted.

Usually when we hear the price of something and we know at the moment we do not have it. It can deter us away from getting what we want, because we think, damn a million dollars?! I don’t have that type of money!

That’s because our minds can’t conceive if it. That’s to much money for us, so we think. We limit ourselves and our thinking, and we think how am I going to buy this house, when I live paycheck to paycheck?? We need not worry about that.

If you go within and you want whatever it is that you want. Trust me you’ll find a way to be creative and the money will come. Just do what you love. If other people can buy homes, that cost millions of dollars, why can’t you have the home you desire?? You’re in your own way. God never said No, you did.

All I know is that, that house inspired me to dream. Yes!,.. It is a big house and maybe one day I’ll have a family in it,  maybe I won’t because every room will have a purpose. Who knows?!… But all I know is, that it is definitely possible, with a little less control and more faith!