SongVersations: “Your Touch” By Ralph Tresvant

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/its-goin-down/id2699933In the middle of the of night. I woke up to my favorite artist voice singing in my ear. The sensual peaceful sounds of  Mr. Ralph Tresvant singing “Your Touch”,

“I’ll be waiting for your touch. Nothing’s quite the same as when we touch. Love me with your magic touch. I’ll be right here baby by your side. I’ll be waiting for your touch. Nothing’s quite the same as when we touch.

Love me with your magic touch. Love me with your magic touch. Magic touch. Touch me. Never thought it be so easy to fall in love, but when you smile, I feel the difference in your touch. And loving you is so easy, you stolen my heart. In your eyes make all the difference, in your touch.”

Every time when Ralph says those two words “Touch Me“. That whisper calms my spirit as those words flow throughout my body. I feel his music touching me. I find myself rewinding that part over and over again. Letting those words and the sound of his masculine voice, how angelic, loving and peaceful it is, get infused into my soul and my subconscious.

It feels like ecstasy. It makes me feel like a beautiful woman. I laid there in bed and just took in the music. It was peaceful and relaxing. It was simple. I thought for a moment how nice, it would be to have a lover, that I could reach for in the middle of the night to hold me. To make love to me. Someone to make me feel like a sensual woman.

Someone who I can have the first thing in the morning, before I have breakfast and before I start my day. A sweet endearing kiss on my forehead and warm embrace. Someone who makes me forget about my past pain. Someone who is gentle with my love. Someone to make me feel safe and protected. Someone who can be my peace and I can be their peace.

Listening to this song when he says “loving you is so easy.” Those lyrics remind me of myself and my first love. It was just easy for him to love me and for me to love him. Two simples souls who never pressured each other and just thought to themselves. How can make you happy because I love to see you smile.

Love shouldn’t be difficult. I don’t know why people keep thinking it should be. Maybe because they are used to pain. Someone shouldn’t make it difficult for you to love them. They should make it easy. When it comes to love or being with someone, it’s either you want to be with that person or not. It’s not difficult. But I’m not looking for perfect, I’m looking for honest and real.

As I lay there in bed, the sun begin to rise, I heard the birds singing outside my window, it made me smile and in that moment. I thought I was going to hear that beat drop and hear  “Can you stand the rain” By New Edition.” Classic songs like that always remind me of home. Music is what love sounds and feels like.

As I take a trip down memory lane as a child being at home with my mom. When things used to be so simple and quiet. I find myself craving more and more of it each day. I know that anyone who threatens and disturbs my peace, is not meant for me to love or be around. As I am very sensitive to negative frequencies.

People ask me all the time, why are you single? They don’t get it. I would be a rich woman, as many times as I’ve been asked that, lol. I’m told “you’re so peaceful. You’re so nice.” I don’t understand why you don’t have a man, that’s loving you and giving you everything you want.” Well I say, it’s not really about what I want first.

What good is wanting something, if it’s not coming from someone you want to be with, love or someone who loves you back. It’s about what I need first, my wants will come later. What I want is peace and quiet. What I don’t need and don’t want is someone disturbing my peace of mind. I want someone who is just as quiet and simple as I am.

Someone who appreciates the little and simple things in life. Someone who enjoys being in the moment. I want someone who revels in my peaceful calm spirit as I revel in theirs.  Someone who hears what I don’t say and is thoughtful and kind. Someone who looks at me and in their eyes alone, I can see into their soul and know that they love me.

I want a magical touch, a touch that I can feel the passion and desire emitting, from the depths of their soul to their finger tips, when they touch me and when they kiss me. Someone I can’t wait to crave and breathe in the way I need air. Someone who’s love is untainted by a previous lover.

Someone who allowed their heart and spirit to heal, so they can be open and free to love again. I want someone to love me with their magic touch. I’ll be waiting….. I’m patiently waiting for it. Is it too much to ask for? No…not all 🙂 .

SongVersations: “Never Noticed” By Ralph Tresvant

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/rizz-wa-faire/id157081843“Oh, where did you go?
Why did you leave?
No chance to say goodbye
And let’s be honest

Ever since you went away
Living hasn’t been the same
Missing you and wanting you back here with me

Heaven knows how far I’ll go
I know its not logical to be with you But if I could, I would

Never noticed how much I loved you. Until the day you said goodbye for good. If I knew what I know now my love. I’m just thinking bout it”

Words beautifully sung by Ralph Tresvant. When you listen to these lyrics, it makes you wonder about the person you loved, that suddenly walked out on you and never gave you an answer as to why. It’s hits you when you are alone. You start thinking about it. You ask yourself what happened? What didn’t I see?

Why did you leave? I never got a chance to say good-bye. Why didn’t you talk to me and let me know you were unhappy, or maybe they did and you just didn’t pay attention. There are always signs in a relationship that your significant other, is not happy but are you paying attention?

Sometimes it so easy to get caught up in our careers, that we neglect the one we love. The one that held us down. Material possessions can’t hold us at night. At the end of the day, we want someone to love and hold us and to just be there. To just be a friend.

You start thinking of your long-lost love and your heart aches, for that person to be back in your life. You know that if you could just get a second chance, that you can love them better. That you are changed man or woman. When I hear these lyrics It makes feel like someone’s love was taken for granted.

Maybe this woman just couldn’t deal with his life and how busy he is. Why else would she just pick up and leave without any explanation. Or maybe she fell in love with someone else. Now he’s sitting there missing her, wanting her back in his life. When he says “It was you, It was you.” Maybe he felt that she was always it for him.

That the mistakes he made, by not showing her how much, he loved and cared for her. That if he did maybe she would have stayed had she not felt neglected. Or maybe he loved her to much, gave her everything she wanted and still it wasn’t enough for her. Some times the more you love and give to a person, they take you for granted.

As the song plays it reminds me of the men I’ve dated and not dated. That claim I’m the one that got away. Now they are alone, missing me, wanting me back. They never realized how much they loved me, until I ended it. But when they had me, they took my love for granted. They keep wondering how their life would have turned out, if they just knew how to love woman like me. They want a second chance.

Why is it that when someone walks out of our life, we never notice how much they meant to us while they were in our life? Why does it takes someone absence to appreciated their presence? Some times we really do love that person, but we never notice how much until they are gone. When were alone with our thoughts it hits us.

Damn! I let the best thing I had slip away from me. We start feeling like a fool. The thoughts of the person we miss invaded our heart and spirit. We hear their voice, we want them near and we think, If only I can get a second chance. Life may or may not grant us with a second chance. But in life there are no do overs. We just have to live with the pain.

If we knew what we know now, we wouldn’t have made the mistake in the first place. Everyone we meet that walks in and out of our life. Is there to teach us a lesson, about love. They are there to help us grow and evolve. Hopefully we’ll know better next time, not to make the same mistake twice with a new love. We’ll recognize the rare spirit of love in front of us, next time around.

SongVersations: “Do What I Gotta Do” By Ralph Tresvant

Do you remember this timeless classic ballad,”Do What I Gotta Do” sung by the iconic and legendary lead singer of New Edition. Mr. Ralph Tresvant.

Breakups, they can get messy. How do you tell someone who you love and care for, that you want to be alone?

It’s not easy letting someone go, no matter how much you love them. It’s something you debate over and over in your mind. Should I? Shouldn’t I?

But deep down inside, you know you gotta do what you gotta do. What’s the best way to let someone down gently. Truth is there is no way to let them down gently. Either way it’s going to hurt you or the other person and no one likes to break someone else’s heart especially when they  still care.

When this song first came out, I remember the first time I heard it. It was May 11th 1991. I looked at the clock and it turned 5:16. My mom was in the kitchen cooking. She had the radio on 98.7. I heard this beautiful harmony coming from the radio and I just stood there…wondering who was that?

I turned the volume up and got lost in the music. I said is that Ralph Tresvant but wasn’t sure, until it went off and they announced his name. I had to have that album right then and there. Which my mom got for me. I thought it was a beautiful sad love song.

I knew it was a song about heart-break and understood the lyrics, I just thought it was beautifully put into song. I immediately got a visual and wanted to see the video. I didn’t really know the significance of the song until I was in my teens and into my adulthood. Thats when the lyrics really resonated.

In “Do What I Gotta Do” Ralph is in turmoil over ending his relationship with his lover. He doesn’t want to break her heart, but his heart and soul is breaking because, he needs to figure some things out and he needs to be alone. Sometimes the person you are in a relationship with doesn’t understand that. When he sings this note. “I’ve been feeling lately like being single or just alone, to get into myself.”

He feels like his woman, is playing games and he has to change the rules and look out for himself. When You are creative person, you need space to create. Unfortunately, the one you’re with can feel neglected, even though that’s not your intention.

img_1453Some of us are there right now. Feeling stuck. We need help letting go. We need to figure out who am I? Rediscover our passions. Figure out what do I want and need out of life. Instead of this whole ‘We or Us thing’.

We’re with someone and we don’t feel the same anymore. The chemistry is gone, we fell out of love or we’ve outgrown the relationship and we are in a war between our heart and our mind. We know deep down in our soul, that we gotta do what we gotta do. You try to find the right words because although it’s hard, you don’t want to continue living a lie.

It kills you deep inside that it has to come this. Because although you love the person you’ve known. You know the best thing is for you two to be apart. Breakups are not easy this is why some people ghost. They don’t have the courage to tell you it’s over in your face or give you closure. What I love about this song is that towards the end.

Ralph is letting her know that even though he loves her, that the best things is for them to be apart and continue to be friends. Why continue to be in a relationship you’re not happy in. Which will lead to nothing but a spiritual death and regret. He still wants to be her friend and be there for her.

He just can’t continue breaking his own heart and being unhappy anymore for the sake of someone else. No matter how much he loves her. I know to many people who stay in relationships way past their expiration date. Knowing they should have left a long time ago.. we’ve all been there.

Trying to work things out because of the time we put in and because we truly care. But it gets to a point that if you don’t end things you are going to go mad. In my last relationship, one day my ex came home. As soon as he walked through the door. I got up went to the bathroom and closed the door. I had this song playing in my ear. I just sat on the bathroom floor and wept.

I was so unhappy. He knew I was unhappy but didn’t care as long as he had a roof over his head and what he wanted. My bed was cold. There was no love or affection. Just him needing me all the time. I fell out of love and I just wanted to be alone. I never wanted to live with him. It was hard telling him to move out of my place. But I had to or else it would have continued and it would have been my fault.

He would have continued living off of me. We have to take responsibility for what we allow to continue in a relationship. Set limits because takers don’t. When I cried, I was mourning the lost of myself. My dreams and my passions. I needed him to be there for me, the same way I was there for him. He wanted me to put my life on hold to support his dreams, which he said in so many way without saying it. That was not happening.

I never had his support and I got tired of the games or feeling like there was a love triangle going on. I realized he never really knew me. My needing to grow and wanting space was a threat to him. Space and discovering myself meant, I wanted better or that I would find someone else who could love me better, which was not my focus and the last thing on my mind.

I wanted a relationship with myself again. I wanted to love myself again. So I prayed and ended it. He didn’t want to be the man I needed. He didn’t want to add to my life just take from it. He only wanted the lifestyle I provided and my money. It wasn’t all bad… the relationship in the beginning, but I was TIRED. I wasn’t the same. My needs and wants since I was approaching my 30s were different from my 20s.

He never expected me to grow and change. He thought I would always be around and took my love, the things I did and how I held him down for granted. I wasn’t being supported in any way. Me wanting help with basic simple things was meant with resistance and arguing. There was no peace in my home. I tried to remember the friendship we shared, that’s the only reason why I let him stay, so he could get himself together.

But he didn’t want to get himself together. I found out his scheme to live with me and have me take care of him was planned. When I ended it, I felt revived. I felt like I found myself again. I was born again. I started smiling, laughing, being happy again. Listening to music, especially love songs again with out anyone turning it off., music was one thing we should have not been arguing about.

I started dancing and writing again. I dropped weight both mentally and physically. I started doing things I used to do before we met and before my mom passed. For so long it was about other people from when I was 14. In a relationship its hard to hear your own voice. It’s even harder to hear Gods voice too. With constant noise and be ‘ON’ all the time, with the wants and needs of another.

Sometimes you can’t be there for everybody. You can’t save everyone. You can’t make everyone happy at your own expense. Being single can be a great thing. It strengthens you. Relationships can be great when there is genuine love and a common ground and two people are supporting each other. It shouldn’t feel like a job you hate because eventually you’ll quit.

It can’t be one-sided and its unfortunate that that’s what some people want. They want to use you for the own selfish gain. I know there were lessons I needed to learn and I learned them. I know that I will never go through that again. Every time I feel like a man is trying to trap me, on purpose or move to quick. I just do what I gotta do and let them go, because life is meant to be lived and I will not exist in someones shadow.