Ladies Relax, It’s Okay To Have Fantasies

Fantasies, things we conjure up in our mind about a specific person or situation. When we have these fantasies we feel elated.

We feel like this specific person or situation takes our mind to ecstasy. It’s a good feeling right? Those pleasure-seeking hormones of dopamine are being released.

We indulge and revel in how good it makes us feel. If fantasies makes us feel so good and it makes us feel like sensual sexual beings. Then why is it that when we have these fantasies, we start to feel bad for having them? How can something so mentally stimulating, that feels so good and imaginary make you feel bad?

Let me let you in on a little secret. Ladies, this is especially for you. Are you listening? It’s okay to have fantasies. Fantasies are healthy! You’re not going to go to hell just because you have a fantasy about a man who is not yours or about a man who’s married. I notice that when it comes to having fantasies A LOT of women and I do mean A LOT of women, feel bad for having fantasies about taken men.

They think that just because he has on a ring that he’s no longer attractive. That since he’s with one woman now, that they shouldn’t desire him. That darn wedding ring is a turn off! Thats why certain artist don’t wear a wedding ring, because it just turns some women off. It kills their fantasy that the person they are in love with, has a significant other when it shouldn’t.

Before I continue, I recall this one actor, that reveal he was married and had a child. When he did, forget it the women were shocked and started hating. The devil came out of these women’s mouthes with negativity, they started attacking him and his wife on social media. They couldn’t believe their crush had a wife. This is exactly why this artist didn’t say anything. He lost followers too.

Now that’s just too drastic. I would never stop supporting an artist, just because they are off the market. It’s not like I’m next in line to be with him. There was never a chance for them. These women are living in a fantasy land if they think they had a chance with said actor. I’m not possessive over any artist, nor am I jealous that they are in love or have a family. They have a right to have someone they love in their life at the end of the day.

Men on the other hand don’t feel bad about having fantasies about women. Why is it that we think men should get a pass or that a woman should remain in a ‘virgin state of mind?

As if women don’t desire sex. As if we’re not sensual sexual beings. When it comes to music and the artist that we listen to, the men that are singing our favorite love songs. We come to fall in love with them.

Their music and who they are mixed with good looks, touches us so deeply that we wonder what it would be like to have music in the flesh. I notice that every time I love an artist and I express how their music makes me feel. I run into a group of women who are very inhibited. When I feel something, especially when it comes to music and how I use all of my senses. I want to express that. I don’t want to hold back.

I’m not going to feel bad about having fantasies over an artist just because he’s taken or has children. So what if I’m never going to have him. I’m not torturing myself by having fantasies and getting in touch with that sensual side of me, that whispers, I’m a live sexual being, that I’m a woman, not a doorknob. These particular artist that are exuding sensuality and sexiness. They know what they are doing?

Why else would an artist take his shirt off or have it open. Why else would he touch himself. He’s doing it on purpose to lure you in and make you swoon and drive you mad and you know what, I love every minute of it. It’s all fun and fantasy. I want to see an artist put on a show and make me feel something, even in a crowd full of other women.

Are we not in tuned with our body or our own sensuality. I feel like when I chat with certain women, these women try act all sanctified as if we are in church. They mention their husband or boyfriend and this is not the place for that. Stop it already you’re killing the vibe. Certain women will go as far as trying to impose their opinion on to others, as if they are wrong for having these fantasies about a married man.

Telling other women that they should not fantasize about a particular artist because he has a wife. That censorship is not needed in these particular groups. When did these particular artist hire a moderator to speak on their behalf? I would like to know, because if these artist did not like the attention,  then why else would they exude this type of behavior on stage?

They are there to put on a show and to thrive off your energy. They love the attention or else they wouldn’t do it. I’m tired of these inhibited women, telling other women that are vocal and don’t hold back, that what they are thinking and feeling is wrong. I guarantee you that if a particular artist wanted these women, they would be like “name the time and the place baby.” They would lift that skirt and drop those panties real quick, if they had the opportunity with no shame or hesitation.

But yet online you want to act holier than thou. You want to act like you don’t find this man sexy or that you haven’t touched yourself while thinking about him. Yeah ok…. Save it for the virgin diaries!

Theres a time and a place for everything and these fan groups, this is not the place for that. Leave your husband or boyfriend and kids out of this discussion. When I express my love for an artist, I’m not blind, I know the man taken but ask me if I care? No!

The artist knows he’s married, but while he’s on that stage performing he belongs to us, the women in the audience for those few moments. He’s there to make that money and do what he loves. What heterosexual man doesn’t want attention from women? Men like to feel desired. It feeds their ego and we all know that men love their ego stroked.

When I listen to the music, I’m not thinking, oh this man is married, let me stop having visuals of him making love to me. Or else I’m never going to enjoy the music and how it makes me feel. I’ll be judging myself the whole time. Love songs and sexual songs have a certain tone to it, isn’t that why we love music because of how it makes us feel?

I understand some of us have been brought up in the church, where we are told not to lust. So we bring that into everything thing we do. We shun people when they are vocal and don’t think like we do. Lust is healthy in certain variations. Some people just get extreme with it. Lust is healthy in your own relationship. Sometimes when the moment hits you, you just want to screw the hell out of your S.O.

Why are we void without passion and desire? Why do we suppress our sexual desires? I tell women all the time that are taken, whatever fantasies you have about an artist. Wait until your S.O. gets home and take that fantasy out on him and (excuse me, curse word coming up, LOL) F**K his brains out. Men desire a sexual woman. If you wanna go ahead and be a bad girl for your man, go ahead. Be totally uninhibited!

Why feel bad for having fantasies when they are healthy and necessary. When couples stop having fantasies that’s when their sex life is in a drought. Thats when they start seeking something new.

More couples should role-play and do things to keep it spicy and sexy. If you have a fantasy be open with your partner and communicate. If you want him to be a certain artist tell him, but don’t feel bad and insecure, if he wants you to be his favorite female artist.

We are visual specimens. Marriage doesn’t mean being blind to other people. People act like for some strange reason, that when they are in a relationship or marriage, that they don’t find other people attractive. Thats impossible! If you don’t want to look at another individual and find them appealing, you mind as well pack your bags and literally move to another planet.

Because here on planet earth you will encounter other beings that are appealing to the eye. I think somewhere along the line, people forgot how the world was populated. I think they forgot that God created sex. God gave us our senses and we should be using every single one of them, when it comes to being full and whole as a sexual spiritual being.

The mind is a very powerful tool. It vibrates on certain frequencies. Sometimes what you fantasize about you never know. Maybe one day it might come true. So ladies if you love a particular artist express that. Women are always telling me how they feel, when what they really need to do, is express that to the artist, not the fan of the artist. That male artist wants to know how he makes you feel. He wants you to stroke that ego.

That exchange of female sensuality and submission makes him feel good. That makes him feel powerful. When you submit to that, he has you under his spell for a few moments. You’re reminded that you are a woman. A beautiful sensual woman. That artist wants to know that he’s making you horny and that things are moving down there. If they aren’t he’s not doing his job.

It’s his job to mentally stimulate you. You have emotions right, well express them. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad. Just because they are not in touch with who they are, doesn’t mean you should adopt their feelings. The marriage police is not going to come and lock you up for your thoughts.

Expressing ones desires and feeling sensual should empower you, not make you feel less of a woman. Be passionate! Feel beautiful and sensual. If you have sexual fantasies revel in it because they feel oh so good!!