Better Celibate Than Sorry: The Positive Side To Being Celibate

img_2936_2Celibacy, can you do it? Sure you can. I wrote about this topic before but lets talk about it again shall we, because it seems to be an enigma to some people. They just don’t understand how one can go days, weeks, months even years without sex. It’s really not that difficult. It’s really all in the mind. A lot of people who have never been celibate or abstained from any kind sex, can’t fathom. Maybe they have a good sex life, who knows, lol…and really who cares.

But people abstain or become celibate for a lot of reasons. Unless you take a vow and swear off sex for the rest of your life. No one plans to be celibate for years, especially if you want love in your life or you desire to be married or have children. God created sex, it’s how we all got here. Sex, love-making can be a beautiful thing, under the right circumstances with right person God has for you..

I’ve shared with you guys that I am celibate and at times, others have tried to make me feel bad for it, especially men. They were either turned on or turned off. Some men, for some strange reason still want a virgin woman or a woman who has not had many lovers. Even when they have had many lovers. That’s never going to go away. When I tell people I’m celibate, they just can’t believe it. They question it all the time.

Maybe because they look at me and think im getting it on and they wonder how does somebody like me abstain from sex, this is what I hear from men. You’re to attractive to not have sex. Excuse me, but what kind fo dumb shit is that?!, LOL… If I share how long it’s been , forget it, they simply do not believe me and that’s ok. I don’t have a celibacy timer inside my body to show proof.

So what others believe about me, I simply don’t care because God knows how long its been. When one chooses to become celibate it should really be commended. There is a positive side to being celibate that a lot of people neglect. When you are celibate, it really helps clear you mind. You become closer to God. You get to heal your heart. Work on yourself. Celibacy heals other areas in your life that you may  not even realize. Sex , lust can cloud your judgement. It’s a powerful emotion when not under control.

2e9626d6c9f268d70f08c1ea71754d1eI haven’t read “The Wait” by Devon franklin and Meagan Good and I plan to, but I pretty much know what this book is about. I have followed Devon Franklin for a long time and have seen many of his videos and appearances. Devon practiced celibacy for 10 years. It takes a strong man to practice celibacy for that long. He admitted is was hard before, but his faith and his walk with God and how he wanted to attract the woman and wife of his dreams. That is was important that he practiced what he preached and it paid off.

Not only for him but for Meagan Good too. There are a lot of men out there like Devon. Men can be celibate, it also depends on one’s journey in life. When you are celibate, it really helps ward off who wants you, for you and not just your body. When you make up your mind to do something, not just celibacy and you stand firm in what you want out of life. If you don’t want to have sex and give your body away to some random man or woman, you don’t have to.

When I first became celibate it wasn’t for religious reasons, it was for a lot of reasons. To many to list but mainly spiritual. I became celibate towards the end of my last relationship, well way before that because the person I was with, we weren’t doing anything any way, so my celibacy started way before that. The relationship had reached its expiration date. I simply wanted to rediscover who I was, become closer to God.

I was spiritually starving and needed Gods love. I needed to love myself more too.

Find out what I wanted in life. It’s easier to lose yourself in a relationship, (the way some mothers feel, how they lose themselves with their kids and husband.) It had been about me and this person for years and I was starting to lose focus of who I was. I had dreams before I met this guy and without even really knowing it. I was settling. I was not being supported in any area of my life. I was the man in the relationship and I was doing EVERYTHING. I wanted out.

When I decided to become celibate and focus on my faith and walk with God and wanted to evolve. I was born again in more ways than one. I was delivered and I can’t be any more grateful. I’ll reiterate, when you are celibate, it clears your mind. It really does. Your heart can heal. You spirit is clear because it is very true, that when you sleep with someone you take on the lovers, they had before you and every other thing that is going on inside of them.

When you’re celibate you get to focus on yourself and know what goals in life you want to achieve. You get clear of the type of relationship you want. The type of career you want. We all know people who are in relationships with the wrong person, the expiration date is long over due. But yet they stay damaging their hearts even further, knowing they should leave.

No relationship is perfect but love shouldn’t have to come, at the expense of your own heart, your soul, your well-being and peace of mind. 

img_2934_2My celibacy has saved me years of heartache, from being with the wrong person who simply did not want or love me for me. From men who are married, men who have girlfriends and men who just have issues.

I was telling a friend of mine, if it was up to me, I would have stayed a virgin and that’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Through my celibacy I have become a born again virgin and that is perfectly all right with me.

My relationship with God is solid and growing every day. I’m much more happier. If you think you can’t do it, you can. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy at first but it will get easier. Then at times it will get hard, because we all crave closeness and to be loved and desired.

I know the kind of man I want and only time and God will reveal him to me in due time. Not a lot of people become friends first. They just want a physical want met. I’ve never been the type to just want someone who I immediately see. I’ve seen attractive men and nothing happens, LOL. There’s no warm tingly feeling, lol.

I have to get to know someone to decide if I even want to be with them. It may take me years or never and that’s ok, if one does not want to wait. People have every right to get their physical wants met, if sex is an important part of a relationship or casual sex. I’m not naive, when talking to a guy to think he is not getting his wants met elsewhere. I’m sure it must be hard when you are used to having sex.

I’m really not missing anything. I don’t need to feel like I’m missing out. You have a lot of people in relationships, whether they are married or not and they are not happy at all. But yet they continue to be intimate. Celibacy, abstaining from sex is not just about the physical. It’s all about all other areas of your life. Because if you can control that area, you can control other areas of your life aswell. Together you and God can co-create the life you want.

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Shhhhhhh….Silence Is Sexy

urlShhhhhh….silence is sexy….I’ve been anticipating you my love…I just want you to walk through the door, stare deep into my eyes. Kiss me passionately. I don’t want you to say a word. I want your eyes and body to do the talking. I want to hear your body whisper, “girl I want your body, girl I want you now”

I want you to kiss my neck. I want you to make me weak with your fingertips. Turn on some music my love. You feel that? Can you trace the lyrics on my skin, on my breast, on my stomach…

I want you to grab me firmly but gently. I want you to undress me slowly..as you’re undressing me, I want you to kiss every part of my body. I want you to look at me as if you are starving for my love…I want to watch you as you take me in your mouth. Tasting my sweet nectar.  Playing with your love button.

I want your tongue to drive me wild. I want you to rejuvenate me… I want you to look at me and see that my eyes say I want more. I’m begging you, please, please, please. Please don’t let me go….I need you. I want you in my love portal. I want to feel every inch of you.

Do you want me on the floor? Or bent over? You can have me any way you want. Anticipating you is making me wet…I need to cum..but I’ll wait because I want you to cum with me….

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Why We Should All Be Talking About Sex

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I’m not talking “the birds and the bees” talk or “use protection talk”. That should be a given. I’m talking about all things sex related, mentally, emotionally and physically. We’ve all heard the expression “you are what you eat” Right?! Well the same should go for sex. You should be very cognizant of who you have sex with and what enters your mind and body and the aura of someone, because its all connected, it becomes apart of you.

Sex to some of us can be a big deal. To some of us it is just purely physical. I’ve seeing a lot of articles encouraging young women and women in general, to have a one night stand and to be promiscuous. “saying one life, live it up” this one really got to me with both sexes, “do as many people as you can, before you get married”. This to me is very alarming as there are diseases out here and no one should be telling women, to sleep with as man men as they can, just because some men do it.

Contrary to what society may think. Not all men sleep around either. I’ve met a celibate guy or two in the past and that is very commendable, because we all hear how men can’t keep it in their pants. You do have men that value who they are, have morals and do not want to die.

Another thing I didn’t like about the marriage quote above” is why do people make it seem like there is something wrong with having sex with one person? In a committed relationship/marriage, thats where one should be free to be totally uninhibited when it comes to sex and feel safe and free to explore with their partner. Having sex with some stranger, just the thought of that scares the shit out of me.

I just feel like this world is perverted and some people have truly lost their way, when you have people having sex, with both sexes and they want to be intimate with more than one person at a time. Something is truly wrong on a soul level. There is a disconnect from god and self. No one should be having sex with more than one person at a time.

There are a lot of people, that they can just sleep with someone and just be on their way. You have a lot of people that really can have sex with no emotion and keep it purely physical, but to those of us that can’t and we value our emotions and need love and we have concerns. This is exactly why we should be having the sex talk. This talk should be very meticulous.

Sex is a very powerful intimate act. It’s the highest form of ecstasy and expression.

I think it’s healthy and important that if you are thinking about being intimate with someone, you should talk about sex and all kinds of sex too. This is your life and this is your body. With sex comes a lot of emotions and not to mention, you make soul ties with people that you physical let enter you or touch you. No one thinks about that, some people just focus on the sensation and just having an orgasm. But we are all energy spiritual beings. With sex comes attachment, long after its over.

I’m all for people being celibate and abstaining from sex, until they are ready emotionally no matter what age they are. Someone that I’m interested in, I let him know that it’s been a while and that I have some concerns. Yeah I thought this made me sound crazy, lol… but I had to let him know what my concerns were, just incase we wind up being intimate. I’m so glad that when I voiced my concerns he didn’t treat me like I was some naive woman.

The questions I had and how I felt were perfectly normal. I’m glad he respected that I am not a woman who just goes around giving away, her most prized possession to just any ol man. A man or a woman should respect someone who’s celibate because it takes a lot of discipline to do that. We live in a society were sex is laced, everywhere and for someone to be celibate in todays world, people look down upon it, when it should be something that should be commended.

When I choose to share that I’m celibate, no one believes me. I’ve heard “you’re to sexy and fine to not be having sex”. Really?! I think comments like that are very asinine. Just because I look a certain way or someone finds me attractive, that should automatically mean, I’m having sex? Because there is no way someone like me can be celibate. Something must be wrong with me right? Nope! My celibacy raises alarms all the time. I’ve even been called a lesbian, because I’m single and celibate and men just can’t understand why I’m not getting it cracking.

Not that I owe anyone an explanation, but I’m celibate for a lot of different reasons, but one of the main reasons is I don’t want to catch anything that can’t be cured. I want a commitment. I want love. I’m not going to sleep with some guy, just because I find him attractive. I don’t know where he’s been and until I see some test results. This cookie jar is closed, LOL. I also know I’m worth waiting for. There are men that simply can not be with a celibate woman. So they have the choice to walk away and I know that they are not the man for me.

Sex should be a big deal

You are exchanging bodily fluids with someone. Those fluids are entering your body. That is a very intimate thing…in those bodily fluids are blue prints about who this person is on an energy level. You should know their mental health and well being, you should know about their lifestyles and everything that pertains to sex with this person. You should know what they are into and what you are not willing to do.

If someone doesn’t have a healthy diet or has a toxic lifestyle, cigarettes, alcohol, bad food. When you choose to engage in certain types of sex, you can wind up tasting it or it can wind up doing harm to you since these things are in the blood and they can get into your blood too.

These are things no one thinks about. Think of it this way, just like you want to have a healthy clean diet and you want to know what you are putting into your body. Sex is the same way and should be treated with the utmost care. If you are thinking about being intimate with someone, do no be afraid to have the sex talk. You have a right to know what’s entering into your mind, body and soul, before you choose to sleep with someone.

 

Lets Talk About Celibacy…Yeah Celibacy…

Celibacy seems to be a word, thats more like a taboo. For some strange reason, whenever someone mentions that they are celibate. People tend to think that there is something wrong with that person.

Because God forbid, you keep your legs closed, your mouth or your stuff in your pants. Somethings gotta be wrong with you because why aren’t you fucking, like everyone else… Sex is great right?? The icing on the cake??

Well I beg to differ…Trust me it is not all that…especially when it comes to men, because all they do is enter a woman and they can cum easily, women can’t.

Society seems to think that just because we are sexual beings that everybody on the freaking planet is fucking like rabbits. That is so far from the truth, it’s not even funny.

I for one… am not afraid to admit that I am celibate and proud for a lot of reasons. But really it’s no ones business, how long I’ve been celibate and what I am not doing. If I choose to share why I am not, spreading my legs to any ol’ man, thats my choice.

People think based off of the way I look, that there is no way I can’t be having sex or not have a man. My life doesn’t revolve around a relationship status. To most people, sex is important. It’s not for me because thats not the only thing I’m concerned with.

My celibacy is a turn off to some men. Others will show some respect to a degree, but they figure if I’m not having actual sex , am I open to other things and the answer is a FLAT OUT NO!!!!

Thats one reason why I’m celibate and abstaining from all types of sexual contact because of these very same men, who keep trying to get a physical need met. Which I think is very disrespectful because I don’t know where the hell your dick has been and if you have an STD.

Men seem to want a clean woman but they are not.

Before I get pissed off, LOL.. let me explain something..

Celibacy can be a great thing, if you are fully cognizant of why you are doing it. It may be for spiritual reasons. Because you want actual LOVE. For some people, they have to have sex, they can’t control their flesh for anything. They’ll even have sex with someone they don’t love or pay for it.  A lot of people are sexually repressed and it comes out in all sorts of ways.

Hey I’m not judging, we all get horny, LOL…but celibacy can be a great way to heal your spirit, body and mind after a break up. Some people bring their baggage into a new relationship because they have not healed.

A lot of people don’t know or understand soul ties. They just figure, I want that man or woman. I’m horny, lets fuck. There is an energy being exchange and a spiritual side to having sexual relations. When a man enters a woman and when a woman allows it.

Their bodies are exchanging energies and that can be a good thing, if you are into tantric sex and if your spirit is clean, and you know yourself and have done the work, to make sure that you don’t have any emotional baggage, to enter into another persons spirit.

It can also be a bad thing, if you have sex with someone whose not on the same wavelength as you are and if your chakras are not balanced.

Energy is everywhere, it’s in everything that we do, you can call it a vibe, a hunch or whatever, as much as we try to ignore it, but it’s there. We pick up on so many sublte energies in everyday life. When something doesn’t feel right, it’s the energy we pick up. This happens during sex.

Celibacy can help us on so many levels. Some people choose to ignore the emotional side of sex, because they just want to get off. It takes a lot to share yourself  with another human spirit. When you are evolved and know yourself and you want more out of the sexual exchange of having someone in your life.

You don’t look at someone as just something you want to screw and be done with. That shows that you are highly evolve. There are always consequences whether they are good or bad when you have sexual relations. Celibacy can help you avoid that.

A person can be celibate for so many reasons. Celibacy, gives you time to work on yourself and to have a clear mind. You are actually more focused. You see things clearly. Instead of people shunning it. They should be applauding someone who chooses to be celibate because it shows respect for their body, soul and mind.

It really isn’t that hard to abstain from sex. It’s all in the mind. If you can’t control the urge to have sex, masturbate, lol. Its safe, theres no emotions involved. No worrying about STDS’s. No awkward moments with telling somebody to leave.

Sex complicates things. Hell, relationships, complicate things. LOL. It’s hard sharing yourself with someone. Somebody always wants more. Some people are not ready to handle a sexual relationship and the emotions that come a long with being intimate with someone.

When you’re celibate it can also help draw you closer to God. Your energy is not cluttered with someone else’s emotions. You are able to hear God Talk to you. Your vision is way more clear.

Celibate people do not need therapy, we are perfectly sane!

But in conclusion people shouldn’t be concerned with what others are doing in bed or not doing. Unless it concerns them. People have a right not to have sex if they don’t want to. If you know someone who practices celibacy, thats someone you want to get to know. You know that if you make that person your life partner or spouse, you don’t have to worry about them cheating on you, because they are not going to have sex just because they are bored. They’ll reach for a vibrator or their hand before they reach for another person, LOL….

Celibacy is to be respected. It’s not for everybody.

 

Keeping The Romance Alive

Sometimes we can get so caught up in life, that we can forget to keep the romance alive when we are in a relationship. We forget to desire one another as much as we use to. I personally think there are ways to keep that spark alive, regardless of whats going on. A simple touch, look or compliment can make you and your partner feel good.

People claim they can’t find time to be romantic with their significant other. Bullshit!!!…. Yes you can! While you’re cooking, you can throw on some soft music and slow dance with each other. Make sure you keep an eye on your food though, lol. You might end up being dessert 🙂

We all love those hugs from behind that are out of nowhere. Women love those kisses on the back, of our neck and shoulders. People really do underestimate the power of warm embrace and touch.

If your man is watching t.v. simply take off your clothes, lol. Trust me whatever he’s watching is not that important, lol. He’ll put it on pause and handle you, lol. You can always shower with each other, do what you did when you first met .

Never forget to date your significant other. Couples think once they have each other, all the romance stops.

Stay sexy for yourself, first of all and let your significant other reap the benefits. Sometimes we think that our partner is suppose to love us no matter what weight. Lets be real, you fell for your S.O because you were attracted to them, physically. I’m not saying starve yourself, but keep it sexy. Everyone’s weight fluctuates but confidence is key.

Everyday all day…..start setting the mood from the moment you wake up…and keep it going throughout the day until you get home, send a sexy text…romance starts in the mind… feel sexy in your mind…..think about what you wanna do before you get home… let the anticipation build up… don’t act prudish when you read this.

I saw this guy on tv, complaining his wife was always in the mood… dude really?? You know how many men complain, that their wife is never in the mood and comes to bed with that rag on her head and fully dressed at that. I personally don’t know how people sleep with clothes on….doesn’t your skin feel suffocated? lol Anyway, how you shower and put your clothes back on?

Some people claim they can’t be naked because of the kids.. well what about when they go to bed??? (so glad I’m single, lol ) sorry I had to revel in that for a moment, lol haaaa haaaa.

Don’t forget to fantasize!

Anyway, always be in the mood when you can.. you can always cuddle if you’re to tired, lol…and just stare at each other…keep giving each other those bedroom eyes… I’m sure something will go down :), lol.

I’m not saying you have to get it in every day, but there are other ways to make love without actually making love…

Let that marinate!

The thing about foreplay is that it can go on for days if you’re creative 🙂 Whether its verbal or silent. It’s all about communication.

There’s nothing like a man who takes pride in being a great lover, and can just look at you, and know what to say and know how to touch your mind, without saying a word.

(One day he’ll appear in my life, lol but for now its in my mind). Until then that’s what music is for 🙂