Why We Should All Be Talking About Sex

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I’m not talking “the birds and the bees” talk or “use protection talk”. That should be a given. I’m talking about all things sex related, mentally, emotionally and physically. We’ve all heard the expression “you are what you eat” Right?! Well the same should go for sex. You should be very cognizant of who you have sex with and what enters your mind and body and the aura of someone, because its all connected, it becomes apart of you.

Sex to some of us can be a big deal. To some of us it is just purely physical. I’ve seeing a lot of articles encouraging young women and women in general, to have a one night stand and to be promiscuous. “saying one life, live it up” this one really got to me with both sexes, “do as many people as you can, before you get married”. This to me is very alarming as there are diseases out here and no one should be telling women, to sleep with as man men as they can, just because some men do it.

Contrary to what society may think. Not all men sleep around either. I’ve met a celibate guy or two in the past and that is very commendable, because we all hear how men can’t keep it in their pants. You do have men that value who they are, have morals and do not want to die.

Another thing I didn’t like about the marriage quote above” is why do people make it seem like there is something wrong with having sex with one person? In a committed relationship/marriage, thats where one should be free to be totally uninhibited when it comes to sex and feel safe and free to explore with their partner. Having sex with some stranger, just the thought of that scares the shit out of me.

I just feel like this world is perverted and some people have truly lost their way, when you have people having sex, with both sexes and they want to be intimate with more than one person at a time. Something is truly wrong on a soul level. There is a disconnect from god and self. No one should be having sex with more than one person at a time.

There are a lot of people, that they can just sleep with someone and just be on their way. You have a lot of people that really can have sex with no emotion and keep it purely physical, but to those of us that can’t and we value our emotions and need love and we have concerns. This is exactly why we should be having the sex talk. This talk should be very meticulous.

Sex is a very powerful intimate act. It’s the highest form of ecstasy and expression.

I think it’s healthy and important that if you are thinking about being intimate with someone, you should talk about sex and all kinds of sex too. This is your life and this is your body. With sex comes a lot of emotions and not to mention, you make soul ties with people that you physical let enter you or touch you. No one thinks about that, some people just focus on the sensation and just having an orgasm. But we are all energy spiritual beings. With sex comes attachment, long after its over.

I’m all for people being celibate and abstaining from sex, until they are ready emotionally no matter what age they are. Someone that I’m interested in, I let him know that it’s been a while and that I have some concerns. Yeah I thought this made me sound crazy, lol… but I had to let him know what my concerns were, just incase we wind up being intimate. I’m so glad that when I voiced my concerns he didn’t treat me like I was some naive woman.

The questions I had and how I felt were perfectly normal. I’m glad he respected that I am not a woman who just goes around giving away, her most prized possession to just any ol man. A man or a woman should respect someone who’s celibate because it takes a lot of discipline to do that. We live in a society were sex is laced, everywhere and for someone to be celibate in todays world, people look down upon it, when it should be something that should be commended.

When I choose to share that I’m celibate, no one believes me. I’ve heard “you’re to sexy and fine to not be having sex”. Really?! I think comments like that are very asinine. Just because I look a certain way or someone finds me attractive, that should automatically mean, I’m having sex? Because there is no way someone like me can be celibate. Something must be wrong with me right? Nope! My celibacy raises alarms all the time. I’ve even been called a lesbian, because I’m single and celibate and men just can’t understand why I’m not getting it cracking.

Not that I owe anyone an explanation, but I’m celibate for a lot of different reasons, but one of the main reasons is I don’t want to catch anything that can’t be cured. I want a commitment. I want love. I’m not going to sleep with some guy, just because I find him attractive. I don’t know where he’s been and until I see some test results. This cookie jar is closed, LOL. I also know I’m worth waiting for. There are men that simply can not be with a celibate woman. So they have the choice to walk away and I know that they are not the man for me.

Sex should be a big deal

You are exchanging bodily fluids with someone. Those fluids are entering your body. That is a very intimate thing…in those bodily fluids are blue prints about who this person is on an energy level. You should know their mental health and well being, you should know about their lifestyles and everything that pertains to sex with this person. You should know what they are into and what you are not willing to do.

If someone doesn’t have a healthy diet or has a toxic lifestyle, cigarettes, alcohol, bad food. When you choose to engage in certain types of sex, you can wind up tasting it or it can wind up doing harm to you since these things are in the blood and they can get into your blood too.

These are things no one thinks about. Think of it this way, just like you want to have a healthy clean diet and you want to know what you are putting into your body. Sex is the same way and should be treated with the utmost care. If you are thinking about being intimate with someone, do no be afraid to have the sex talk. You have a right to know what’s entering into your mind, body and soul, before you choose to sleep with someone.

 

Communication: Staying Consistent

I received a lot of emails from both men and women, complaining about a lapse in communication with the people in their lives. It’s the number one pet peeve for a lot of people. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m really adamant about effective communication and how consistent I am with communication. When people don’t hear from me, that’s when they question “what happen?” because they know I always respond and acknowledge their communication….

One of the emails I received was…..

“My girlfriend and I live in two different states, we’re about 90 minutes away from each other. Whenever I call her sometimes, she doesn’t answer my calls, not only that, my texts and emails go unanswered. When I do it to her, but not on purpose, she gets really upset. She expects me to answer every time she calls. If I see a missed call, I call back. I’m always acknowledging her communication with me. When she texts me, I will call her as I am not big on texting or email. I’d rather hear her voice.

My communication with her, will go unnoticed for days and then when I hear from her, she will act like nothing happened. Now if I did this, it would be a problem, she would think I’m cheating. I really love her, but I’m not sure if I can put up with this long term, its already been 9 months. I understand we’re both busy but she could atleast say something. This makes me feel a bit insecure too, buy I try not to think the worst. she did this before we started dating but I thought it would stop.”

Sincerely,

Torn on communication

Shit, at least it’s not 6 months, LOL…A friend of mine did this to me and when he called me, it was like it was nothing…..no, I’m sorry or why….I kind of knew why, but it would have been nice if he said something. He just flat out stopped talking to me….I had no idea he felt a certain type of way about me or how intense it was. I had to respect his feelings, as much as it hurt me and I did not like it….I know this feeling all to well, as there are a few people who do this to me.

Men especially….what I’m hearing here, is that both these individuals have had problems in the past with communication. Their insecurities are coming up. Not only that there is some distance between them. When someone does not acknowledge our communication, as much as we don’t want to, we automatically start thinking the worst. I just finish having a conversation with a friend of mine about this and yet this is being done to me.

Pretty much every time he communicates with me whether by calling, email, tex I respond. The key thing that I try to remember, when my insecurities are being stirred up by a man, is to do my best and try not to take it personal. Sometimes people need a break, and they simply do not feel like talking. People have lives and sometimes they feel like, the only way to stay focused is not talking to certain people.

Acknowledgement would be nice and very well appreciated, but that’s not always the case sometimes. I also can not expect people to be like me. I treat people the way I want to be treated, which is what my friend said to me. So I’m not sure why he’s choosing not to respond to me. Whenever my friend and I do talk, we’re on the phone for hours and sometimes we talk several times a day. So I try to remember that when he doesn’t acknowledge my communication.

I have no clue why he chooses to be inconsistent sometimes and other times why he chooses to be consistent. I know that if we were to date, this would be a problem, because he expressed this to me, that he expects his woman to answer the phone, so I don’t know why the oxymoron now, LOL. There’s also some distance between us, so I’m sure on some level, he’s tired of talking on the phone and just wants to meet already.  So do I, which will be happening soon. So I get it.

Long distance relationships/friendships, no matter if it’s 90 minutes or 5 hours is tough for some people, especially when it comes to communication. The people in our lives are always going to stir up something, that we are uncomfortable with and this is when we have to sit down and have a talk, about how this makes us feel and if they care and love us, they will do their best not to make us feel a certain type of way.

When I know someone doesn’t like something. I make a mental note of it so it doesn’t happen again. Not everybody is like that, people simple do things out of habit and we have to let them know, when something is bothering us and decide whether or not if it’s a deal breaker. It would be great if everyone in the world was consistent but that’s not the case. I know men always want to see if I’m consistent but they are not.

When it comes to communication, makes sure the people in your lives are consistent, because this will show how they are consistent in other ways a in their lives. Some people are consistent with being inconsistent, lol well at least it’s consistency right, lol :).