To Pre-nup Or Not To Pre-nup?!

'Did she marry you for your money?' - 'No, she divorced me for that.'

If the person you love, that you was about to spend the rest of your life with, asked you to sign a prenuptial agreement, would you? Would you get offended if asked? Would it make you rethink your relationship? The answer is NO, it shouldn’t and heres why…

My answer is yes I would sign…lead me to the dotted line, LOL…. I’ll sign with pleasure :).

You should sign with pleasure too. Prove to your mate by your actions that you understand how they feel. That you love them and not what they have. This prenup is not about you, it’s about them.

It’s no secret that the way marriages are set up, it usually works out in the woman’s favor and not the man’s. We hear all the time a woman taking half, just because she stayed married for x amount of years. All a woman has to do is say her husband was unfaithful and try and prove it or not, and the court will rule in her favor because she is a woman. Or prove he is a deadbeat dad and she gets more of his money.

Now there are some guys out there, that you have to make them go to court, just so they can step up and  be a man and support their child(ren).

But for the good men out there, that work hard and spent years and years attaining what they have. They don’t want their woman, that they decide to spend the rest of their life with (in the event that things change), her taking half of what he worked so hard for. It’s just unfair but the system is not fair. This is what a lot of men are afraid of. This is why a lot of men are reluctant to get married. They do not want to lose everything and they can if the relationship comes to an end.

I was having a discussion with a friend of mine about money and prenups and I told him, if a guy asked me to sign a pre-nup. I would sign right away because that will prove, that I am not there for his money or the things he has. I’d probably draw it up for him, LOL or bring it up first. There are some people who do marry for LOVE, no matter what a person has. Then there are a lot of women who do marry things and money and not the person.

I personally don’t know how marrying things, can fulfill someone or money. Things that can easily be replaced. Money is fleeting. What is a nice house and things, without love? What is a nice car going to do for me, if the guy driving it I don’t love. People feel that if you marry for love you are stupid. I’ve heard plenty of women say “the first time I married for love and I ended up with nothing. (No, you married the wrong man, that took advantage of you and didn’t appreciate you).

The next time I decided to get married, I’m marrying a man with some money”. And they can’t be any more serious. This is exactly why a man should have a prenup in place, to protect himself against woman like this. Then because of their experience with the wrong man, they tell other women don’t marry for love. Excuse my french, but what kind od dumb bullish*t is that?  This is the bullsh*t they teach other women.

I’ve been hearing a lot from women that “I’m to pretty to be on my own and to be going through what I’m going through. That I need a man with some money and a nice car and house”. What kind of advice is this? I have one niece and I would never tell her that or any other woman that. As a woman, these women should be embarrassed. Did their mothers teach them this bullish*t or TV and reality shows? But this is what they did, hooked up with a man with money, to have a roof over their head and got pregnant too.

But the one thing that they are truly missing is love of self and love in their home. What’s wrong with making it on your own and if you meet someone, that you’ve grown to love and you two work together, you complement each other and build a life together. At what point in our lives did we come to cherish and worship things instead of God and our loved ones? What is this, “I’m taking half for”. Just to end up bitter and alone if you get divorced or while you’re still married.

It really makes me wonder….do women really want love and a good man? Or they just want their money?

If I was an entertainer, athlete or just someone who was very successful and wealthy, I would want my husband-to-be to sign a prenup, because sometimes in life you never know…In my last relationship, I found out that my ex was not there for me, or because he loved me. He was there for my money and my lifestyle. He enjoyed it more than I did, because I was working so much. So I empathize with men on this topic.

It’s not just men who have to protect themselves… women have to protect themselves too! People change, they become vindictive and I don’t want someone taking half of everything I worked so hard for, especially my money that I need to live my life with and enjoy. Just because they are mad we broke up and we don’t love each other anymore. This is why it’s important to know the kind of relationship, the person you’re with has with money. I’m a saver. I’m frugal.

I get asking someone to sign a prenup may not be a discussion you want to have, it’s not the most sexiest topic, lol. But it needs to be talked about. You’re building a life together, so you need to talk about money, having children, the kind of house you want, where you will live, your faith. Who will cook, who will clean the majority of the time. What’s the point of being with someone, if you don’t have certain commonalities in line before you say I DO.

I’ve seen so many people get married, have children, and everything that they were suppose to discuss pre-marriage they didn’t. Now they are struggling. One person is a saver, the other isn’t. One person goes to church, the other doesn’t. They don’t even share the same bank account. Marriage is about becoming one, not being single while married or independent. No matter how much you love someone, money will be an issue. It’s also the number one cause of divorce and break-ups. So while you’re in the boyfriend/girlfriend courting stage.

This is the time to figure out, will this man or woman you are dating, will they be a good spouse. Are they marriage material until death do you part. Will they have your back if you are not working? Don’t wait until you get married, then find out the person you said I do to, is not the person, who will save money, have you broke and out on the street. Being homeless is not cute..that they will not clean or cook or take care of your home and kids. Good looks or sex will not sustain a relationship.

Remember…….just because someone ask you to sign a prenup doesn’t mean they love you less. They just worked hard and put in time. Time that you did not put in, so you can’t expect to just come in and take everything. I know it sounds like you’re getting a divorce before you get married, lol. But try to be a little understanding and put yourself in their shoes.

So I say yes to prenups!!!! Prenups for everybody, LOL.

 

Advertisements

One thought on “To Pre-nup Or Not To Pre-nup?!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s